Mark sorted out my phone storage problem!

So here’s the post I would have made on Friday if I could have accessed the blasted photos


I brought an apple with me to the DPaR presentations

because I’d brought one to the mini-presentation to Simon in week 6

because I’d happened to have one on me when Emilyn asked us to deeply research a single gesture from our practice – and I’d used it as a substitute for a mug.

The first two apples were both picked up in the old orchard, but the one above was purchased on my way to the tube at 6am on Friday (I’m blessed by a 24 hr convenience store) because someone tidied all the fallen fruit from the old orchard a few weeks ago.

However, because my suitcase of written materials was so heavy (would have been easier to put some of the mugs in the rucksack, but I wanted Paul to have the “authentic” experience of opening the suitcase & finding everything there), I stashed it in the old orchard on my way to Michaelis, dropped everything else off & came back for it when I could use 2 hands.


I left the apple there too, so it could absorb some of the spirit of the place.

Then I put it back in my coat pocket & forgot all about it until after the presentation! So much for that idea . . .

I rediscovered it in the gap before Danielle’s presentation when I popped out to shove everything back into the suitcase – so I decided to leave the apple in the tree for a bit (see above) along with Emerson to hold the space & one of the Gestalt CDs that was too high to get down easily.

I came back when we left the bar – only just remembered to! Paul had carried the suitcase to the library for me & then I had to leave it there & run back to get the remaining things out of the tree. Emerson & the CD were still there, but the apple was gone – I felt quite touched that a stranger had found & appreciated this minimal echo of my presentation.

I would have liked to have eaten it on the way home though . . .


small triumphs

Mark fixed my phone storage problem 🙂

So I was able to take this photo of the flowers I bought for the church carol service today.


I was a bit worried people might not see the funny side – but I got a lot of positive feedback.

The sprouts I needed to break off to fit the stalks into the vase were used as centerpieces on the coffee tables – resting on brown paper bags with “please take me” written on them (as a homage to Danielle :- )

Am having a surprisingly nice weekend – but soooo looking forward to finally handing in the written materials tomorrow!

Love to all





Minor Frustrations

My phone storage is so full of photos that I can’t even see thumbnails of the photos I need to delete to free it up 😦

There’s a really cool photo from the presentation that I wanted to use with this post (or rather the post I would have written if I could have uploaded it) but I guess I’ll just have to add it later.

Not even going to try & think about the phone storage problem till Monday afternoon.

Just went to make myself a cocoa, but my favourite mug is in a suitcase, dirty & wrapped in tissue paper.

Managed to lock myself out earlier, because I’d patted my pocket to check my keys were there – and was fooled by that blasted folding spoon!

Orley’s module is on Tuesdays next term & mine is on Mondays. That would be really sad – except that we can still meet here 🙂

Would like to sleep for a week – but I’d also like another 12 weeks to write up what I discovered in my 12 weeks research & I’ve only got this weekend.

All minor frustrations.

I survived the presentation!

Came home and ate a whole bag of tortilla chips with taramasalata to celebrate.

Love to all


Blog abandonment

I abandoned the blog. I’ve not returned. Like a force of nature. Well that would be the ideal.

I decided to take myself and my research (book/laptop/pad/paper/pencils etc) to the Vietnamese restaurant close by. I sat there for 3 hours. Writing and thinking. I thought tonight would be a conclusion before Friday. Whoopsie. I just opened a whole other can of worms.

There is the feeling that I could have selected from so many things just like this, and dedicated time just like this, and felt I could go on forever and a day just like this.

What a bizarre thought. Is it all trivial? Is it really that important? It damn well feels important at the moment.

Sometimes it feels like week 2 (I never speak of week 1) was yesterday and other times like it was many moons passed. I have gained. Nothing concrete.

I received a message from a friend: “The research brain is so cool. Apart from stimulating all these ideas you actually grow brain synapses and stuff. Then you are literally smarter/your brain is bigger and you start remembering all this stuff you’d forgot because you have connected grey matter. Really!”

Well, I can’t say I am quite there. But I am truly enjoying real invested interest. Couldn’t be asked about assessment malarkey – not the point for me. I have had moments of feeling like a fraud. That my brain does not follow thought ideal processes or retain information or desire to make ‘ground-breaking’ work (whatever that is). Today I don’t care. Maybe I am a fraud. Maybe I’ll never truly understand/want to understand the millions of books with the same title (my apologies Dr Ellis – I haven’t really tried hard enough): “dance/practice/research/arts/practice/in the/dance/stage/arts/performance/research as/research in/practice/arts/dance/practice/practice/schmactice!

Everything in its time.

For now.

More to write.


Miss Quick

For whom the bell tolls

Ever since Paul posted about being “busy” and Orley that “Time is the Enemy”, I’ve known the same feeling would soon catch up with me . . .

Tonight, I finally admitted I can’t get everything done that I wanted to before the presentation. But that’s ok – good even. I see more clearly what I need to focus on. I’ve cut one of the key areas I wanted to cover – which should make preparing the written materials easier too. There’s still time to add, link, review, dream, map, play.

Agree with Orley & Paul though, that it’s only acceptable to let some of my hopes for this process go – if I can let them go into the future, as seeds for continued research/practice next year. Great to know there’s already space reserved for that – and friends joining me there 🙂

Transition Time

The guy in the pink jacket is called Sim.


He works for an agency that supplies security guards for Kensington Palace. Today he was stationed at the end of this Lime Walk, to tell people The Orangery was closed for an event and they’d have to exit on the right.

This was the first time I’d seen the fairy lights lit and, as dusk fell, I was really enjoying the combination of the lights & the remaining yellow leaves. As I left, I mentioned this to Sim & he said “Yes – it was a transition time – he wished he could take photos, but his phone was dead”.

As I walked away, the words ‘transition time’ really started to resonate for me. It had been a theme in therapy yesterday & also of Paul & Orley’s last blog posts. I thought “I should write about this & my phone’s not dead” so I came back and took a lot of photos.


I particularly wanted to find a way to relate this tree to the arched walkways. I tried to frame it in the circles of lights – like an echo of the mulberry embrace post – but that didn’t really work in 2-dimensions. Then on the other side, I was taking photos of a squirrel and suddenly the tree re-appeared in the frame – connected to squirrel, lime walkway & the central pool.


Satisfied, I headed home – but as it was Sim’s idea to take photos, I thought I’d offer to send him some. He was enthusiastic & took more himself with my phone. I said they were for a student project on co-created space & he said he’s also just gone back to university to study law. I helped him head some people off & give directions to Kensington Palace.

This was my favourite of the photos he took.


The tree is also in the background here – and just before I left, the person on the bench (in this photo & the first) walked out of the frame and spoke to us. The squirrel came over to say hello too.

I think a richness of transition times, is the potential for encounters that don’t need to lead anywhere. Space is opening for something new to grow – many seeds start sprouting, though few can actually take root.

Time is the enemy

Hello Time


You are not my friend.

What is the end in terms of time feels just like the beginning of something.

Now acceptance.


Accept that this is what it is.

The beginning at the end.


Bugger. Couldn’t have done it differently. Needed the time to get to the beginning.






Escalator accidents 2015, St Pancras

Not sure why I love this poster so much . . .


but it might be the combination of the self-satisfied tone of “Escalator at fault – zero” and the corresponding disapproval of all these drunk people in improper footwear running around with too much luggage and not holding the rail